Nothing
by SlayedByJuminHan
Summary: Maybe when you're already face to face, he'll come to his senses and comes back to you. Maybe... maybe when he sees how much you're hurting, he changes his mind and stays with you forever.


**Summary:** Maybe when you're already face to face, he'll come to his senses and comes back to you. Maybe... maybe when he sees how much you're hurting, he changes his mind and stays with you forever.

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 **Author's notes:** A fic inspired by The Script's song entitled Nothing. I've listened to it again for the first time in a long time and 707/MC is all I can imagine, I'm sorry I have to do this. This is unbeta'ed but I've tried my best to spot errors.

 **Disclaimer:** All characters are owned by Cheritz.

* * *

You can't remember how much time has passed since you ran away from them with tear-stained face, yelling his name and glaring angrily at no one in particular. Well, you want to glare at _him_ but as soon as his face appears in your mind, your glare weakens and you're reduced to nothing but a weeping mess. You curse the wind in the unfairness of it all.

Someone is calling your name from a distance, beckoning for you to come back. In your hazy mind, you have no idea where this 'back' is and you're not even sure where you are going now. You seem to have a hard time focusing anything other than not coming back because you have to find him and bring him back to you, to them.

"Come out now! Stop hiding from me!"

The words just come out of your mouth and you can't understand why you're also finding it difficult to get out the words clearly. Maybe if you call him his preferred alias, he'll suddenly appear like he used to. He's amazing that way, after all.

"Lovely God Seven, please hear your humble disciple!"

You try again but still with no luck. Why is he not answering? He's always answering you when you ask him things. He's the most talkative out of your circle that Jaehee actually considered taping his mouth shut just to have even an hour of peace. You told them one time that it won't work though, and the both of you laughed sharing an inside joke, much to your friends' annoyance. You both know that the most effective way to keep his mouth shut is to cover his mouth with yours. But of course, you won't tell them that. Currently, however, you're getting frustrated by the lack of response. And why the hell is the world spinning so much?

"Saeyoung, answer me! Fucking Saeyoung fucking Choi! Tell me why you left! You at least fucking owe me an explanation!"

A fresh wave of tears pours down your face as you scream at the dark skies. You realize it's night time but you know it doesn't matter because he's a nocturnal little shit and he's still very much wide awake. Through your tear-clouded vision, you discover that you have apparently reached a familiar empty park. Without your own volition, you headed straight to the swings, your vision a bit blurry and your legs wobbly as you plop onto one of them. They always tell you that you're the only one who gets him ever since you accidentally joined their circle through his twin's help. You can't help but laugh bitterly at the thought though. If you get him so much, why are you here, crying your eyes out for him and asking where he's gone, then? Yes, you've always been sure that you know what he's thinking inside that genius head of his. They even tell you you're the female version of him and yet...

And yet you can't find it in you to understand why he's not answering your calls and messages, why he's suddenly left without telling you anything and just ignored you like that, throwing two years of relationship down the drain. Months had already passed but even with your cloudy mind, you can still vividly remember the time you saw him awkwardly facing a wall. You actually recognized his hoodie first, it was his trademark clothing, after all. You smiled upon seeing him because you barely saw each other and you thought he was just caught up with work. Finally, he's in front of your eyes and you very much wanted to surprise the dork. A pair of hands shooting from both sides of his red head and entangling around his neck was what rooted you on your spot, rendering you speechless. Legs as heavy as lead, you moved to get a clearer view of what's happening. The unexpected scene had you almost passing out though. He was pinning someone against the wall and kissing her fiercely. Your first very stupid thought was, maybe he mistook you for someone since the girl seemed to also have your height and long brown locks? Right.

You remembered the chat room exploding with outbursts from the others the next day when they learned of his infidelity. Yoosung had posted a photo of him that night as well and you can tell it's a different girl than what you personally saw. Zen messaged you privately that he also saw him with another girl and she was not the same as the one in Yoosung's picture. You tried to reason out with yourself that maybe something wrong happened with his job—he's a hacker after all and you know very well the dangers that come with that damn job. Maybe he was just forced to do that and it was not like he was cheating on you, right? But fuck it all, it still hurt like hell. You want to ask him directly about all these because you trust him that much. Apparently though, he doesn't even want to have anything to do with you. You were cut off just like that. How sweet.

There's a dull pounding on your head now and you feel very sick, you force yourself to remain conscious. It's hurting everywhere, you think. Are you dying? You let out a soft chuckle at the thought. Maybe then at least he'll probably show up to your funeral, right?

Very well then, you decided to let him know you're dying because how can he show up if he's not aware of it. You have to be on an elevated place so that you can shout his name and catch his attention. Maybe whatever god he believes in takes pity on you and let the wind carry your voice to him. So you attempt to climb on the swing but the damn thing won't cooperate as your foot keeps sliding off the seat. "Fucking... why won't this—fuck!"

"Hey, hey, stop that! You'll hurt yourself!"

Warm body collides on you as soft warm hands wrap around your cold ones, trying to pry your hands away from the swing handle. You hear footsteps and cries of your name as tears of frustration start to stream down your cheeks again.

"It's… my foot...the swing... the swing won't let me... help..." You slur unable to form a coherent sentence and you wonder why that is. You know you are perfectly articulate and you pride yourself as an eloquent speaker. Even Jumin recognizes your skill, but right now words fail you. Just like him failing you. Or did you fail him that's why he left? Shit, your head's a mess.

"C'mon, stop it, please."

Someone hugs you tightly, trapping your arms in his own. You stop struggling because you feel like one more move and you're going to throw up your lunch. Come to think of it, have you had your lunch earlier?

"Princess, c'mon, let go of the swing. It's getting cold, let's take you home," Zen softly says to you when you remain silent. "L-Let go now."

You hear the telltale signs of a sob in his voice and your own brows furrow. "Are you crying, Zen? Shh, don't cry, it's okay, I'm okay," you console him even when you just sniffled and a tear rolled down your own cheek.

He chuckles bitterly, "Now, you're comforting me? What a hypocrite."

Someone calls your name again and you squint to see Yoosung looking at you with concern all over his boyish face. On his right is Jaehee looking frantic that you can't help but let a giggle escape your lips. Maybe, it's because it's the first time you've seen her with this look, you conclude she's still a human after all. Then there's Jumin still impeccably dressed as expected, staring at you like he's chastising you with just a look.

"Oh, what's with this… are we... are we having a party again? Why..." you try to get the right words out between hiccups, "Why are you all here?"

"Let's get you home, okay? We shouldn't have let you drink too much," Yoosung says and moves towards you.

You try to stand up straighter and move away from him but your legs won't listen so you just squirm in Zen's arms. "No," you say and you hear the clear conviction in your voice despite your flailing limbs. "I am waiting here for Saeyoung. I just called him, I know he'll come back for me. I can't. I can't leave this place."

"I'm surprised that even in her intoxicated state, she still managed to sound convincing," Jumin muses and you flash him a toothy yet watery smile for the compliment.

Jaehee shoots her boss a look, "I can't believe that's all you can say in this situation, Mr. Han." She then turns to you, her stern look training on you now, "Let's go, you need to rest, you're getting pale."

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..."

Zen grunts as you struggle in his arms but he gently speaks to you again, "It's getting cold now, princess. And you're drunk so let's get you home, okay? Get some rest, c'mon."

"No!" You shout again when Zen tries to lift you up. Why can't they understand? You can't leave this place until Saeyoung talks to you and explains to you why he's left you alone. Maybe when you're already face to face, he'll come to his senses and comes back to you. Maybe... maybe when he sees how much you're hurting, he changes his mind and stays with you forever. He's not fallen out of love with you, right? You gasp as another realization hits you. Maybe he's in danger right now and he's just protecting you from whatever hell is after him now. But that's when he needs you the most, right? That's why you can't leave him, no, you have to stay by his side. Which part of that do they not understand?

"Saeyoung cheated on you, okay! Simple as that! Don't make excuses for him!"

You whip your head up to see Yoosung fixing you a stare, tears now also falling from his eyes. You haven't realized you've said all those aloud.

"Why are you still waiting for the man who cheated on you?! Who left you?! Who turned you into _this_?!" He's yelling at you now which doesn't help your pounding head. "He doesn't even deserve you so don't ruin your life trying to be a martyr for a filth like him!"

If it were a different situation, you would have laughed at how the youngest in your group is acting all mature and lecturing you. You are hurting and somewhere deep inside, the more sensible part of you agrees with him. God, you definitely do. But just like a foolish martyr that he says you are, you choose to swallow the bitter denial and believe in Saeyoung no matter what. Slowly, white-hot rage fills you upon hearing Yoosung insulting Saeyoung. You have probably punched the former in the face if not for Zen holding you down. Dammit, why aren't you strong enough? "Take that back! Take that back, Yoosung! Don't you—don't you dare call him that!"

"Why the hell are you still sticking up to him! I can't believe you!"

"Yoosung, stop it, she's drunk. She doesn't know what she's talking about," Jaehee tries to hold back Yoosung by the arm, a slight panic in her usual calm and collected voice.

"No, Jaehee, don't stop him, let him come to me! Zen, let me go, let me— " You struggle but Zen is definitely stronger than you and he pins you against him, backing away from Yoosung as you yell yourself hoarse. Saeyoung doesn't deserve to be trash-talked like this. You know how much he treasures all of you and he's thankful to have you all with him. It hurts that you're all talking like this to him when you know he cares so much for all of you. You start to cry again; you wonder if your tear ducts are now broken and if there is any way to fix them.

Yoosung tries again but this time, you notice, he has lost all the fire he had a while ago. You haven't noticed you spoke all those words out loud again until you hear him ask you. "Answer me this then... If," he inhales sharply swallowing the lump in his throat, "if he really loves us so much, tell me then, why did he leave us?" He pauses as if hesitating. "Why did he leave you?"

Oh my god, that fucking hurt. So much. Your legs finally buckle under you and you drop down the ground, bringing Zen along with you. Truth be told, even without Yoosung saying this, the question has been hanging on you for months now. But hearing it asked aloud just tears you apart.

The dull throbbing in your head comes back in full-force that you're thankful you're already sitting and Zen is holding you up. "I don't know," you squeak after a while, your voice hoarse from all that yelling as you feel your energy slowly leave you. Another wave of sobs racks your body again. God, you're such a wimp you want to kick yourself. "I don't know, Yoosung... that's why... that's what I want to ask him..."

You're shaking uncontrollably now. Every sob that comes out of you feels like a stab in your chest. You gasp for air as you shake your head in defiance, denial, defeat, you don't even know now. The simple action made you dizzy so you close your eyes to stop the world from spinning but you feel like you're about to pass out instead. "I can't... even if I want to, I can't. I love him... Shit, I love him so so much."

Zen moves to kneel on the ground and adjusts his hold on you, tucking your head down his chin. He doesn't make a sound but you can feel him also shaking against you and you realize he needs to hold you not just to calm you down but to anchor himself as well. He whispers your name and tells you to please stop, his breath hitching up his throat and that's when it hit you that you've been sobbing Saeyoung's name over and over again like a mantra.

His face starts to swim again in your muddled thoughts and you feel your heart aching for him. You've tried to hold out for months now, not showing any signs of weakness, keeping up that cheerful façade, assuring your friends that yes, you're fine and no, there's nothing for you to talk about but thank you very much for the concern. Maybe, you think as you feel the others coming towards you, you've lied too much even to yourself that everything has bottled up and is now spilling out of you, taking every piece of you with each sob. All you wanted is to just hear his voice again and tell you how much he loves you. But as darkness starts to creep in and fatigue starts to take over you, however, all you heard from Saeyoung Choi was nothing.

* * *

"I'm going to assume you heard all that."

Saeyoung lets out a deep breath and leans back on his swivel chair. He throws back his head, eyes fixed on the ceiling. "You're such a sadist, Juju."

"And you're such a masochist for not hanging up the moment we caught up with her and she started yelling—"

"Don't!" He suddenly sits up. "Stop right there, Jumin." He pauses for a while and closes his eyes, heaving a pained sigh. Then he hesitates a bit but he has to know. "How," he stops himself and coughs awkwardly to hide his slip up. Of course, you're not okay, he bitterly scolds himself, so he changes his question. "Is she asleep now?"

"Yes, Zen and Yoosung tucked her in bed. She's resting already."

Of course, you've always been a lightweight, Saeyoung thinks. But a pang of jealousy stabs him. "Why can't it be Jaehee?"

"Oh? Are you jealous now? Assistant Kang has to arrange something for me that needs immediate attention, so she went back to the office as soon as we arrived at their place."

Saeyoung swallows the lump in his throat. "Well, I think it's... it's much better if she...if she falls in love with either the three of you. She...she would have a better future."

The corporate director exhales loudly at the other end of the line, clearly not convinced of the bravado Saeyoung's trying to display. "Sure, mister match-maker. But as you probably heard, she only wants you."

The redhead chokes back a sob. "I can't be with her, Jumin," he almost whispers. "I thought we talked about this already? She can't be involved with me anymore. They already fucking tracked me and the more I spend time with her, the more her life is in danger. All of you, actually."

"You should have just taken her with you, at least. I know she's more than willing to be on the run with you."

"And live a dangerous life with me? No. No, I can't give her that kind of life. It's unfair for her. I can only take Saeran with me."

"And you deciding what kind of life is better for her is fair? You're both hurting, Saeyoung. We all are."

"This is better than her being tortured for information," Saeyoung manages to choke out as he forcefully pushes out the horrid mental image of you in his nightmares. "At least I know she's alive."

"Barely."

"Shit, Jumin, you're not making this easy for me!"

"Ah, yes, it has been nice and dandy for all of us as well."

He tries not to scream. You've always told him that Jumin has the best sarcastic comebacks out of all of you and now he's experiencing being the recipient of those sarcasms. It definitely isn't pleasant at all. Saeyoung takes a deep breath, something he's keen on doing a lot lately, closes his eyes and grits his teeth, "Listen, Jumin. You don't know how it feels like waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares of her being tied up and almost lifeless, or hearing her screams when they hurt her over and over again, it's just..." He can't continue without breaking down into sobs, "I can't... It scared me so much..."

Jumin politely waits for him to calm down at the other end of the line. After a while, he quietly replies, "It's the first time we've seen her break down like that, Saeyoung." His tone is crisp and almost business-like, but if you were here listening, you can tell that he's restraining himself and there's definitely pain lacing his voice. "You only heard it through the phone, but we've witnessed what has happened." He sighs, "It was terrifying. All her pent-up emotions suddenly crashing down."

Saeyoung becomes silent. He doesn't know what to say, anyway.

"Ah, it's getting very late, I have to go now. I still have to prepare for a business meeting tomorrow." Jumin pauses, as if debating whether to say something. With a defeated sigh, he adds, "I hope for the both of your sake that you made the right decision. Think about it again properly. Well then, goodbye."

As soon as the call ended, Saeyoung swiftly takes off his glasses to rub his face and mutters out a string of colorful curses. He knows he's hurt you so much but hearing you so broken and defeated over the phone tortures him. There's nothing he wanted more to do than book a ticket and fly back to you and hold you tight. He wants to be there for you but that would only cost you and your friends' your life. He can't afford to be that selfish. If he needs to be the villain in your eyes, he'd do it in a heartbeat just to save you from harm. It pains him to intentionally break your heart with his fake-cheating but all those were necessary. The organization from the black market he once worked with has tracked him down days before the day you caught him by that dark alley so he has to switch girls to divert the organization's attention away from you. They have to think that you're not important to him so that they won't use you against him. He intended to let you also see those so that you hate him for fooling you and move on with your life but God, you really are too stubborn for your own good. He's torn between being happy and mad that you still believe in him despite all things that happened. Yoosung's right. A trash like him really doesn't deserve you.

He slumps down and grabs a handful of his red hair in frustration. _I've decided on this, there's no going back now_ , he thinks. But as soon as his golden eyes rest on his phone, he grabs the device and is scrolling through your last messages before he knows it.

 _'I know I may sound stupid and foolish and this is not like me but without you I'm just not the same.'_

 _I'm not the same without you, either_ , he thinks as he gently rubs his thumb on the screen wishing that his touch reaches you.

 _'Why won't you answer my calls and messages? I just want to hear everything from you. You're not like this to just leave without a reason, I know. If you're in danger, please let me know. Let me help you. We're going to make this through together.'_

Curse you and your stubbornness. He loves it and despises it so much.

 _'Saeyoung, I love you so much. Please come back to me.'_

He finally breaks down, chest heaving as sob after sob rips him apart. _I love you, too. Shit, I love you so so much._

He can't remember how much time has passed since he broke down crying, beating himself up for everything that's happening. Finally, he exhales sharply, steeling himself for what he's about to do. Before he can change his mind, he puts his glasses back on and lets his fingers fly across the screen to type his long due response.

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 **Author's notes:** I have a lot of firsts on this one. First time writing an angst fiction (1) in second person POV (2) and in present tense (3). Also, I haven't, ah, experienced being drunk even though I'm an adult already lol so pardon me if I might have written inaccuracies on being drunk. Constructive criticism is very much welcome, so please let me know on your thoughts on this - if this is not angst-y enough or if I went overboard with the angst or if there are any things I need to take note of next time. Thanks for reading!


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